Paki memes #2

Here is our second batch of memes that we have made. Your feed back and suggestions would really help. this time we have the meme of "Creepy Wonka" who is one sarcastic, witty, wise ass. he will make you realize the stupidity of your behaviour  in just one line.

For more information on memes and how they originated and what characters they have please go HERE.

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Paki memes #1

Paki Memes

Memes are all over the place. Recently Pakistanis have joined in with some amazing ones as-well. Here's my first batch of Paki desi memes. Enjoy. And since the world wide web is a free place there is pretty much nothing I can do if some one else copies these and posts them on their more popular blog or facebook page.

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Paki memes #2

HUMSAFAR AND EFFECTS

The HumSafar Phenomenon. This serialized adaptation of a novelistic piece of literature has had profound effects which have affected the Pakistani populace.

The following are some common observations that have been observed with regards to an average Pakistani observer/s of HumSafar.

They remain at home on Saturday. Saturday traditionally being the day when people usually go out and explore the world with their own two eyes rather than through a screen. An observing observer will however change his entire schedule e.g cancel his/her flight, miss a wedding, not get married, forget to go to the bathroom, if these events in anyway conflict with the timings of HUMSAFAR.

The subject will also abandon any on going activity abruptly if HUMSAFAR is to start or the commercial is about to end. Rumors of food being left on the stove,uncooked food being eaten, babies left crying, husband left dying, wife’s utterly forgotten when mahira appears can all be directly related to this social phenomenon known as HUMSFAR.

Another observation most commonly observed is lifestyle changes. Subjects being completely devoid of common sense as is common are prone to vaguely connect every single event in the programme to their own ten times more better and colorful life. They fail to realize that that the programme has a whole year or month broadcasted in a mere hour. This obvious fact is impossible for subjects to grasp and all they do is whine of how their life is so empty and full of problems compared to the 1 hour a week scripted and carefully directed life of HUMSAFAR.

For the first time in the history of Pakistan people now care about emergency situations. Yes the Pakistani awam has finally woken up. HUMSaFAr has now achieved what neither quaid-e-azam’ speeches nor imrans khans rallies have been able to accomplish. Subjects in the life threatening scenario where they miss the Saturday night show (OH God please give us strength to bear this pain) they now have a system where they wake up early, yes early in the morning and that also on a Sunday! Who would have ever heard that a Pakistani would wake up early on Sunday. But it has happened and all because of HUMSAFAR

There is also another negative aspect. With great success come great sacrifice. The sacrifice that we (manly-music-loving manly men) had to give was the death of a rock star. Yes my fellow men we can never again view fawad khan as the head banging vocalist of the super awesome band E.P. he is lost to us. The female population has turned head banging fawad into hunkalicious-eyecandy-icecream-chocolate frosting fawad.

For a period of one hour there is complete peace,quiet,tranquility,calm,order,harmony,lack of traffic,good weather,good food,better-looking spouses and generally a standard of life that is atleast 7-7quadmillion times better than normal. This hour of bliss is sometimes enough to make the Pakistani people bear the rigours of everyday NORMAL life.

One interesting effect HumSafar has had on masochistic masochist males is how it has reintroduced them to their softer,feminine more delicate side. Normally such masochistic masochist males refrain from viewing such tv episodic material. However HumSafar has forced such males to adapt a lifestyle of stealth and ninjitsu when it comes to watching this drama. Common observations include sitting next to the wife with an expression of disdain and disgust and passing remarks such as “ YEH KAISA DRAMA HAI” and “ASLI MAIN AISA KAHAN HOTA HAI” while deeply contemplating in their minds the repercussions of Ashers deeds on Khirads life. Another big plus for such males is the opportunity to view female models in various forms of clothing ranging from modern to the traditional ( but always with exceptional makeup) without ANY complaint from aforementioned wives.

This observational observance of observers of HumSafar has been carefully observed and the noted observations have also been observed by noted observers of the field of Observation who are experts at the science of observing observable material to ensure that the observable Phenomenon of Humsafar is accurate to the observers of this piece of literature.

Bieber

Following his enormous success as a drool ball for preteens and a source of unexplained anger to men Justin Bieber has decided to open his own institute. In this institute he plans on teaching and promoting his completely pointless yet apparently super hit songs and song writing abilities (which includes a grand total of ten words). The following is his lyrics from the i-feel-like-puking-whenever-someone-mentions-this-song “Baby.”. This particular song inspired him to continue his noble work of destroying literature, music, singing, sanity, radio, adolescence, puberty and many more things with his complete lack of ability to be a singer.

“Baby”
You know you love me, I know you care
Just shout whenever, and I'll be there
You want my love, you want my heart
And we will never ever ever be apart

Are we an item? Girl quit playing
We're just friends, what are you saying
Say there's another and look right in my eyes
My first love broke my heart for the first time
And I was like

(chorus)
Baby, baby, baby ooh
Like baby, baby, baby no
Like baby, baby, baby ooh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

Baby, baby, baby ooh
Like baby, baby, baby no
Like baby, baby, baby ooh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

For you, I would have done whatever
And I just can't believe we ain't together
And I wanna play it cool, 'cause I'm losin' you
I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring
'Cause I'm in pieces, baby fix me
And just shake me till you wake me from this bad dream
I'm going down, down, down
And I just can't believe my first love won't be around

(chorus)

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
I'm sixteen and I thought that you'd be mine
I used to tweet you and text you and call you
And hit you on Facebook all the time
But but but but now you're gone
So far long that I can't even find you
You know that feeling when you leave your love
And it's right behind you
Can't believe that you did me wrong
We were on iChat all night long
Listening to our favorite song
She was wrong
I am gone
I thought I loved her
Never put no one above her
Yes she was my lover
But now on to another like

(chorus)

I'm gone (yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
All I'm gone (yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
Now I'm all gone (yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
Now I'm all gone (gone, gone, gone)
I'm gone

This breathtaking piece of lyrical beauty was written by Justin himself. We were able to contact one of the students in the university and s/he was able to give us a sample of what s/he has learned from Justin.

Here it is.

Girl :

Baby baby girl

Girl oh babygirl

Oh oh oh girl baby babyyy

Oh why don’t you text me babygirl

Baby baby text me from your  iPhone 4S

(Chorus)

IPHOOONNNEEEEE

OHHHHHH PHOONNNNEEE

Girl im waiting on my scootie

For my beauty (and by beauty I mean you)

Baby baby girl baby girl oohh

I have your picture

In my wallet next to my appointment letter at the hairdressing salon

Wont you please text me baby baby oohh

(Chorus)

Texty texty ( wink wink )

U know what that rhymes with babbyyy

jalaybee (an Asian delicacy)

So why don’t you come over baby..

Ill show u a good time at the local KFC

So baby baby baby baby baby baby ooohhh girl iphooonee baby

Text me on my HTC !

I'm gone (yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
All I'm gone (confirm confirm, confirm confirm confirm confirm confirm confirm)
Now I'm all gone (Yeah Yeah, Affirmative Affirmative Yeah, Affirmative Affirmative Yeah, Affirmative )

I'm all gone (gone, gone, gone, Dawn, fawn, swan lawn, yawn, john, born, mom, dad, brother sister )

Im gone.

This song was my end of year project at the Bieber School of Musical Arts and Sciences. I received a distinction from our founder/dean/chancellor/vice chancellor/local fashionista/style icon/guru of the mystical singing sciences Justin Bieber himself. I also received copious amounts of styling gel.

My motivation for joining this “mind-numbingly awesome” university was the sheer amount of success garnered by our Lord Justin Beiber’s “amazing” and “eloquent” “SONG” Baby. I have never felt emotions as strong as when I read and understood the “lyrics” of this amazing example of “poetry”. It touched me at a level that even Shakespeare could not.

So what are you waiting for. You don’t need to study grammar, English, sentence formation, vocabulary, punctuation, rhyme and rhythm, or have any measurable amount of intelligence or common sense to enroll in this institute and flourish your good for nothing Talent.  

I'm gone (yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
All I'm gone (confirm confirm, confirm confirm confirm confirm confirm confirm)
Now I'm all gone (Yeah Yeah, Affirmative Affirmative Yeah, Affirmative Affirmative Yeah, Affirmative )

I'm all gone (gone, gone, gone, Dawn, fawn, swan lawn, yawn, john, born, mom, dad, brother sister )

Im gone.

Facebook: This is what it really is

Facebook was created by Superman. After accidentally landing on earth and being humiliated by having to wear ridiculously tight undergarments and being mistaken for a bird or plane “I even wore a bright red cape so these stupid humans can distinguish”, Superman swore revenge. Initially he planned to destroy earth but the United States government found out that he’s an illegal immigrant, and so had him deported back to Krypton. Once at Krypton he decided to take his revenge at the semi intelligent species of humans. He launched a plan that he would find a means to study the humans and then ultimately annihilate them. He sent one of the filing clerks from his office at krypton, to earth. He decided to send Mark Zuckerberg to Harvard figuring that this is the place where the most intelligent of humans are present.

Mark‘s job was to create a platform in which these young and brilliant minds would pool their thoughts actions and way of thinking. Thus Facebook was created.  That way extensive Data would be gathered about human and then 1 fool proof way would be carried out in which humans will eventually cause their own downfall. Many conceptual plans were thought of and carried out in small scale. Global Warming, Nuclear experiments, George W. Bush, Tsunami, lady Gaga, and Justin Bieber are just names of some of these plans. Soon it appeared that humans are so stupid and dumb that they would enjoy such things. Superman then decided that he needs to study the data more carefully. Mark Zuckerberg got a promotion his new job description was pressing the refresh button and report the number of users.

In the meantime Mark was gaining popularity within humans at Harvard. Many young females were now busy in trying to seduce Mark. They did not know however that he had yet not hit puberty which is evident from his lack of facial hair. One night however he managed to find a home made recipe for testosterone from “Zubaida Appa’s Tootkay.” He injected himself with it right before going to a frat party. As the party progressed surrounded by appealing company he fell victim to man’s greatest weakness. Soon Mark was thinking from his Anatomical ping pongs. This just proved to show that alcohol can even ruin inter galactic plans. Superman was worried but also bought shares in Jack Daniels and other wineries.

When mark woke up next morning next to Justin Timberlake (who apparently made Napster), he made a decision. He would not let superman destroy earth his exact words were “just because Elton john complimented his Kryptonian scrotrum doesn’t mean he has to destroy the entire planet”. Along with Timberlake, Mark devised a plan to make facebook absolutely worthless and useless for Superman. He decided to include all the most stupid people on earth in facebook he expanded it to all continents. Soon facebook was flooded with “I got my nails done” “I love justin beiber” “I’m wearing the shortest skirt I can find for tonight’s party” “updating my status while showering”. Mark ensured that all that Superman would be getting would be pointless information of complete idiots who deem it necessary to post the type of stool they excrete.

Mark devised a clever plan to keep Superman’s interest from waning. He decided to constantly change facebook and giving people new ways to discuss Justin beiber’s latest hairstyle or the insurmountable length of Kim Kardashians relationships’. Now Kim holds great interest for superman on a personal level. Superman finds that her ability to walk around with two planets strapped to her lower abdomen is truly astonishing. This “showing” of such “strength” has led superman to suspect that Kim might be his long lost sister.

So not only has Mark been acting as earths savior…his creation has led to a collective increase in the intelligence of this earth. A prime example is the deep, thought-provoking debates on the social aspects of the society in which the socials of the society socialize. Who would not want to know what their best friend’s ex-wife’s third cousin twice removed had for lunch that made him vomit copious amounts of last nights dinner? Such knowledge is veritable gold.The sheer effort put in the description of last nights excrement is commendable. It is knowledge that is truly vital for Marks grand plan….to drive superman to suicide. 

Some time back..we sent one of our investigators to delve into the deep world of facebook…that investigator is now known as the entity Paris Hilton. So… the sheer damage that facebook can inflict is amazing. If it can transform a fully grown man into Paris Hilton…a vaguely human-shaped organism with the intelligence traits of expired mayonnaise…it is a force to be reckoned with….what remains to be seen is whether Superman can weather this storm..or perish to become something worse than Paris Hilton…namely another Paris Hilton..two Paris Hiltons will result in a time space continuum rift..bringing an end to all that we know…perhaps a better outcome than a universe with two Paris Hiltons.

Now that Mark Zuckerberg has become so rich by making people go virtual farming he has decided to permanently stay on earth and live the life that he has always been dreaming of which has been inspired by American pie. We were able to find out that his personal idol is Hugh Hefner.

This article has been read and approved by the Inter Galactic Literary Society and any piece of crap that contradicts this is false and misleading. YOU ARE PIGS BEING FARMED AT FACEBOOK ALL OF YOU…….AAAAAAAAAAAAACHHHHHUUUUUUUU. WHAT DA!!!! This bogey has a weird color man gotta post a photo of this on facebook. Ooooo eemmmmmm geeeeeeeeeee

Written by Mujeeb and Sarmed